Cosmopolitans, Curveballs & Connection: Friendship in Sex and the City & And Just Like That
Rather listen than read? Here is the audio version read by the guest post writer Amanda Davies.
Friendship in your 40s and 50s doesn’t always look like late-night Cosmopolitans , or a fancy brunch. Sometimes it’s a group text that makes you laugh out loud in the middle of a stressful workday. Sometimes it’s venting about perimenopause over a glass of Pinot Grigio and sometimes it’s simply sitting beside a friend in silence. This is something Sex and the City and And Just Like That has always understood. Behind the designer heels and iconic Manhattan skyline, the true heart of the story has always been friendship: funny, complicated, enduring friendship between women.
And Just Like That reminds us that friendship doesn’t fade in midlife. It evolves, it expands, and if you’re lucky, it deepens in ways your 30-year-old self could never have imagined.
Then and Now: From ’90s Brunches to 50s Realness
When Sex and the City first arrived in the late '90s it was groundbreaking. It was rare to see women openly discussing sex, relationships, and dating on their own terms on mainstream TV. It was led by four women navigating life and most importantly, each other, in a way that felt bold, funny, and aspirational.
Beyond the cosmopolitans and the clothes, what truly resonated for millions of viewers, especially women, was the unwavering bond between the friends. They might have fought (and oh, did they fight), but they never gave up on each other. Their relationship extended beyond friendship: they were each other’s chosen family.
In And Just Like That, we meet them two decades later. They’re in their 50s and life looks different. There’s grief, divorce, kids who talk back, and aging bodies, but through it all, that same thread of connection persists.
Friendship in Midlife: Less Glamorous, More Realistic
If Sex and the City gave us aspirational fantasy, And Just Like That leans more into relatable reality. The show doesn’t pretend that getting older is seamless or universally empowering; it's sometimes awkward, painful, and confusing.
But that’s where the friendships come in.
Midlife is often a time when relationships are tested with people growing in different directions. Careers shift, kids (if there are any) leave the nest, hormones play havoc and bodies change. You start caring deeply about things like memory foam and noise-cancelling headphones and may even wonder what happened to you somewhere between juggling expectations.
That’s where having people who knew you then and still love you now becomes life-affirming.
And that’s exactly what we see in And Just Like That. The women aren’t perfect, not even close. Sometimes they misunderstand each other and sometimes they try too hard but there’s a genuine affection underneath the missteps.
The Absence (and Presence) of Samantha Jones
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room — or more accurately, the missing queen of the brunch table.
Samantha’s absence in And Just Like That was a major loss. She was the sexual revolutionary, the ride or die friend, the comedic relief, and, in many ways, the glue that held the original foursome together. Her character made space for unapologetic female pleasure and confidence, long before it was trendy to do so.
In the reboot, her exit is explained as a falling-out with Carrie over business but what’s most interesting is how the show handles her absence emotionally. She’s not erased but mentioned, texted and missed.
In the Season 2 finale moment when Samantha calls Carrie from London to say goodbye to Carrie's old apartment the show gives fans a long-awaited taste of closure and continuity. It’s a subtle nod to the truth many women know all too well: friendships can drift, change form, or go quiet, but the love doesn’t always disappear.
Sometimes your Samantha is still just a phone call away.
What AJLT Gets Right About Friendship in Your 40s and 50s
I'm not here to claim the series is a perfect portrait of real life, but beneath the gloss the show manages to tap into something deeply human. Here’s what it nails about friendship, particularly in midlife:
1. Friendship Isn’t Always Perfect
The older we get, the messier things become and that’s okay. The reboot doesn’t shy away from showing tension: Miranda and Carrie clashing over life choices, Charlotte overcompensating for her family’s chaos, Carrie navigating loneliness. These friendships are allowed to be real, frayed at the edges, occasionally tone-deaf, but still rooted in love.
2. Growth Isn’t Always Linear
In your 50s, you're supposed to have everything “figured out,” right? Not according to Miranda, who throws a grenade into her life to explore her sexuality and identity. There’s also Carrie, who’s learning how to live alone again. The beauty of mature friendship is that it can hold space for reinvention — even when it's inconvenient, even when you don’t agree.
3. Support Looks Different Now
Friendship in midlife often means being there in ways that are quieter, more practical, more emotionally intelligent. The shows reflect that — and reminds us that showing up doesn’t always need a big speech. It just needs presence.
4. Humour is Non-Negotiable
If you can’t laugh at the absurdity of a hot flush during a work presentation or disturbing excitement over a high school "MILF list", what can you laugh at? The humour in And Just Like That sometimes misses, but when it lands, it does so because it understands that shared laughter is what keeps long-term friendships vibrant.
Why It Matters
In a media landscape that often treats older women as invisible, And Just Like That dares to centre them. Not just as mothers, wives, or professionals, but as friends. It gives us permission to keep evolving, to be complicated, to mess up and start again. And it shows us that female friendship isn’t just for the young — it’s a lifelong asset.
Whether you’re navigating a new chapter, recovering from heartbreak, rethinking your career, or simply trying to remember where you left your keys, your friends are your soft place to land. They’re your mirror, your memory-keepers, your reality check, and your biggest fans. If you’re lucky, they’re also the people who make you laugh so hard you nearly spill your coffee.
The Final Word?
You don’t have to live in New York City or wear vintage Vivienne Westwood to have what these women have. You just need a few friends who get you. Friends who’ll talk you off the ledge, call you out, show up at your door, or text you a meme when words aren’t enough.
Because love is wonderful. But friendship? That’s the stuff of soulmates.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments.
Written by Amanda Davies.
Amanda is a comedy fanatic and is the co-host of
Thank you!
